Did you know?

Today I am posting a couple facts about mental health and mental illness, brought to you by MentalHealth.gov

 

Fact:

The majority of people with a mental illness are not any more likely to be violent then someone without mental illness. People with severe mental illnesses are actually 10 times more likely to be the VICTIM of a violent crime.

Fact:

1 in 5 Adults experience mental health issues.  1 in 10 young people experience a time of severe depression. 1 in 25 people live with a severe mental illness like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression.


What this means:

 

These facts VS the stigma surrounding mental health is completely unbalanced. I mean, 1 in 25 people? Thats 4 in every 100 people that could possibly have something as severe as schizophrenia, not to mention the 1 in every 5 adults that experience some form of mental health issues.

So why is it that people imagine this:31726739-too-loud-sound-frustrated-young-woman-covering-ears-with-hands-and-keeping-eyes-closed-while-standin

Whenever anything Mental related is mentioned?!


 

Times are changing and bringing people into the circle and into the awareness will definitely change the perspectives. Staying silent doesnt help. Speak out. Speak loud.

 

Thanks for reading,

Jas ❤

What to say, When to say it

Speaking to someone with a mental illness can be difficult sometimes.

Difficult in the sense that you are litterally walking on eggshells. In my case with my Pschizo-effective, I can literally snap at any point in time from any random comment. In fact, I have done this already WAY too many times to count.

I am going to list the WORST things to say during one of those snaps

Calm down!

Calm down is the worst and the last thing I need to hear when I am experiencing a panic attack. If I could just “Calm down”, believe me, I would love to. By telling me to calm down, you are making me feel 100% worse. Why? It just enforces the pressing insecurity that I have mental illness and It will never go away – which makes the panic attack WAY worse.

Just Relax and Breathe.

Personally, when I have a panic attack I absolutely start to feel like I cant breathe. I hyperventilate, I am not able to concentrate, I just truly cannot relax when my muscles feel like they are turning into solid stone.

Whats your issue?

My issue? MY ISSUE?! My issue is that I have something chemically wrong with my brain to cause me to snap at every little thing that disrupts how things should go in my head. If I cant find a shirt to match an outfit, I flip out. Not by choice. I would love to not flip out over not having a shirt.


Things like this can seriously mess up some self confidence. My self image, My self worth –  goes down everytime I hear this. It Hurts.


 

Here are some of the things you can say/do instead.

  1.  What can I help with?

  2. Distract them with something they enjoy doing.

  3. Hug them.

  4. Take them to iHOP. (That one is for you, babe.)


 

Things as simple as that will help rather than hinder.

Thanks for reading,

Jas ❤

 

 

 

 

Fighting with Myself

 

I want to cave.

 

Fighting..Always fighting.

The only thing I think about anymore is skipping work and giving up, which is not necessarily a realistic ideal but my brain is telling me it is!

It makes me feel like that, but the worst part is another me will not allow that to happen. I would love to just cave to this illness. I want to give in and just let it take over because I am tired. I am tired of fighting with myself. I am tired of having to PUSH myself to do simple tasks, like take a shower, brush my hair and teeth, wear clean clothes.. I force myself to do those things. I don’t do them because I want to, I do them because I am forcing myself to be normal, but….I am tired. I am exhausted.

I am trying my best at work, but anything everyone sees is just a normal person doing a poor job. “Try harder”  “Do this instead” “This is what you are doing wrong”…. but please, can someone tell me what I’m doing right?! No one sees the good I am doing. No one sees me trying my hardest.

That hurts.

I want to cave, so so bad, but I cant. Society will not let me. So what do I do? Keep on fighting.

That is the only thing I can do.

Thanks for reading,

Jas ❤

Wise words that I did not want to hea

 

I had a doctors appointment the other day with Dr. J.

She had some words for me. Wise words, but ones I could not help but to feel disgusted by. It was last tuesday and I had to go in to get my monthly shot for my schizo-effective disorder. I left that day contemplating whether I know what is best for myself or not.

I have struggled with consistently taking meds. Why? Because I am a person of instant gratification. I want what I want at that exact moment. Well, it turns out medication does not work that way. Medication takes time. Not only does it take time, it just helps lessen the problem instead of fixing it. I would love nothing more to not have to take medicine, and that is where the words from Dr. J came in.

“Medication isn’t a fix all. You will need to be consistant and take it the rest of your life for it to work.” – Dr. J

Those words hit me. Hard. What am I supposed to say to my future children? How do I explain this to my own family? Why can I not ever be NORMAL??

Normal. What is normal… Normal to me is someone successful. Someone who can work a full time job with no hiccups. Someone that can multitask and build themselves up in life. Someone that does not scream at themselves when stepping out of their house. I want to be normal. I want to be MY definition of normal.

A lot of people are ignorant to the fact that you need to take medication your whole life. People will downplay mental illness as something compareable to a common cold or flu, and that hurts, but I have to get over others ignorance. Medication itself is surrounded by a negative stigma, let alone telling someone you have depression or anxiety.

Now that a couple of days have passed and I have thought about her words, I am prepared to continue taking medicine. Am I scared? HELL YES. Do I still want it fixed right now at this moment? HELL YES. Can it be fixed right now? No, it can not. Medication is a routine in the life of someone with mental illness, and all of us just need to accept it. I am going to be honest, I do not know if I have fully accepted it yet – but I am sick and tired of my brain. I am sick and tired of all the noise. So if we need to take medication to help it, then lets do it. We can not get any better unless we want to. So starting now, I am making a promise to want to.

Take care of yourself, believe in yourself, and fuck whoever says otherwise. We make our own NORMAL.

Thanks for reading,

Jas ❤

Silence is Golden

Shhh Be Quiet.

Turn off the light, close the door, sit and don’t move. Do you hear that? Silence…

Tell me what it sounds like. Explain to me what it sounds like. Peaceful? Empty? Quiet? Scary? Amusing? I want to know what it sounds like. I strive to have a brief moment of hearing absolutely nothing.


The following is what disrupts this silence from my experiences:

Anxiety
PTSD
Schizophrenia
Depression
Bipolar

With the lack of silence, it has brought on my lack of independence. Now, I have to be dependent on medication. I have to be dependent on my doctors to give me what’s best. I no longer get to trust in myself; instead I now trust in medications that man made.

“Independence is happiness.” – Susan B. Anthony

I struggle with my happiness because of this. When I see things like this, my brain goes “Yes! Independence! I’m an adult! In your face! I’m independent!”. When I calm down from that manic high period, I realize I’m also a liar. A liar to myself.

“You can do it…But you can’t do it alone.” —- World Community Mental Health Movement


I don’t want to take meds to hear the silence, but I can’t do it alone. I have learned IT IS OKAY to ask for help. Because YOU took the step to do so. YOU reached out to your doctor. YOU were brave enough to get over your fear of losing your independence and that is what is going to push you into the end zone.

You can do it. Just not alone. You got this. Ask for help.

Thanks,

Jasmyn ❤

Ark. Is. Life.

Ark.

To help myself deal with my various day to day issues, I play video games. This is not the most active/healthy coping skill, but it is mine and it works.

I play games like Anthem, and Ark Survival. Which the last one is sometimes  known as “Life” to the players who play. It gets me out  of my head. It causes me to focus on certain objectives and not the one inside my brain. 


img_1311

Take the game Anthem for instance. It is basically a character inside a metal suit you control, flying, zooming and running around at

crazy speeds completing missions and contracts. I am not myself at that moment. At that moment, I am a Freelancer fighting bad guys or trying to locate trapped ally’s.


img_1313The other game I play is called Ark: Survival Evolved. This game I enjoy because I am with my husband and my friends, raising dino’s and fighting enemies together. Sometimes I do spend money on said game. As long as it is keeping me from diving into my brain, I am 100% okay with that.

Again, I say it may not be healthy to play all day, but it is definitely not healthy to want to hit your head on a wall for peace of mind. I mean, would you take the hitting of your head on a wall or would you rather play games? Simple choice to me. Guess….. Yep! You guessed correctly. Hitting my head on a wall is way better. img_1312

I am joking!! Well, anyway, Ark is a great coping skill for me and 90% will be always. I put 90% becasue who knows, maybe I find a better game? Joking again! Get out of here scrub. 

Thanks for Reading,

Jasmyn ❤

Acceptance

Honestly this is something I have struggled with the most. I still struggle with this day to day. Do I want to accept the fact that I have a type(s) of mental illness? No. From my personal experiences, the stigma around mental illness and how it affects people has been grately over-exaggeratd to the point that it is Embarrassing to me. It is embarrassing to have to walk into a pharmacy and ask for my meds. It is embarrasing seeing someone you know on your way out of the doctor. It is emarrasing knowing that I will live with this the rest of my life. Why? There is no cure for my mental illness. There is no cure for ANY mental illness.

That is a crazy hard pill to swallow. Knowing you have this disease and not being able to cure it? It feels like a ton of bricks were put on my shoulders. About 2 weeks ago I decided to start taking my pills and attending doctors appointments. Since starting the medication and visits, I feel SO SO much better.

I think I have finally come to terms with myself. I have an Illness.

“Hello, My name is Crazy,  whats yours?” – Jasmyn